The Complete Note Cards Kit

Springtime brings a couple of occasions to give and receive gifts, namely graduations, weddings.

And this is one of those times when it is much better to give than to receive.  Why?  All those damned thank you notes.

My youngest  daughter enjoyed her wedding:  the trip down the aisle in her over-priced dress and, yes, even a tiara.  I may not be a person who enjoys dressing up but I do know that every girl dreams of wearing a tiara.

But along with the glory of being the center of attention Emily learned about showers that year.  Rather, the Thank You notes that went with them.

I can’t remember how she handled the thank you notes for the wedding but when it came time for a baby shower she begged me to not let anyone give her a baby shower.  And the only thing that stopped her was quite simply because she dreaded writing Thank You notes more than she needed gifts.

So, I've  put some thought to that for the last few years.  I decided this really is a difficult chore because  it's pretty hard to  know what to say.

Do you keep it short and simple?  Or long and loving? Obsequious or obnoxious?

Just in time for 2012 graduation and wedding season  here is Mother Jane’s Complete Thank You Kit.  Here’s what to say and how to say it right down to making your own cards.  Some of the following advice I gleaned from common knowledge amongst women and some I just made up.

There are two main things to remember about sending thank you note:

One:  Send a thank you note for everything.  To everyone.  This shows character.

Two:  Send it as soon as possible.  This also shows character and takes the pressure off.

Mark your calendar.  Get the thank you notes out two weeks after graduation.  You will feel better with the load off your mind and your mother will have to shut up.

** HOWEVER:**  There is one bit of advice I need to point out for Gift GIVERS:  Make sure your card is FIRMLY attached to your gift.  If the recipient doesn’t know who gave them the gift they certainly can’t thank you, can they?  After Elizabeth's wedding we spent the week after the honeymoon trying to match up a set of spaghetti bowls with no card to the cards people brought without a gift. So, for Emily's wedding we stationed someone at the gift table with a roll of scotchtape.  Problem solved on our end.  But you people really do need to do your part if you expect a thank you note. For God’s sake don’t just sit the card on top of the gift and think it’s going to stay there!  And I know you people do this because I used to do it myself.  No more.  

OK.  Now:

Nobody likes to write thank you notes.  I think that’s mostly because they're not sure what to say or they're afraid they’ll say it wrong.  This is where my Thank You Notes Kit comes in handy.  Follow my simple and fool-proof formula and zip those notes out at record speed.

It is more important to be prompt than it is to be eloquent.  No one has very high expectations of high school graduates nowadays, anyway.  They have read your text messages and facebook updates and if you  manage to just use actual  words in the note they will be impressed. 

The basic  Thank You note  should have three sentences:  (1)Thank you.  (2)This is why I liked it.  (3) Then a third sentence to close the note. Try to say something about your relationship with the giver.  This way the note reinforces the idea that the person means more to you than the gift.

You don’t have to do any more than that.  Fill in the blanks with me here:

Dear XXXXX,

1.    Thank you for the (laptop, car, sheets, pillow, Frisbee)

          2.  I love (the color, size, having one)

                           --or—

                   I’ve always wanted one.

                            --or—

                   It fits perfectly (unless it doesn’t then don’t mention that part)

          3    I will be going to Podunk College next year studying the philosophy of Fig Newtons

                           Or

                You have always been an important person/good friend/ to me (my family).

                          Or

                 When I win the Nobel Peace prize I will be sure to mention you in my acceptance speech

                          Or-

                 I remember the time you helped me get my cat out of the tree.

Love,

Your name here

Now that you know what to write down, please be careful how you do it.  This will be tempting.  You will  be all like “Wow, this is cool.  It’s so easy now that I have the Jane Els formula. I can zip these off in no time.”  Don’t write like you are rushing.  Your handwriting is important.  Write as clear as you can to make it look like writing the note is something you’re enjoying. Your handwriting should convey the image of yourself sitting outside under a shade tree with a glass of lemonade enjoying yourself.  Slow down.  Especially if you have the handwriting of a homicidal maniac.

OK.  Now to the cards themselves.

Because I am both cheap and imaginative I sometimes make my own personalized note cards. It’s not as hard as it may sound.  And it is infinitely easier if you know what you are doing.  One of the things I miss about having a real job and working in an office is how much you learn from your officemates. The Microsoft Word boat has sailed without me and I’m floundering around figuring out stuff on my own. So—you might know a better way to do this and, if so, please let me know.   Margins seem to be my weakness.

Set up a document in landscape orientation with two columns.  Put your name toward the bottom of each column.  Arrange the font type and size to suite you and keep it centered in the columns. Pick a color you like.

You can print a test.  Fold the paper over and cut the two columns apart.  Do all your testing on regular paper.  Once you get it the way you like it print the final copies on hard cardstock paper—32 or 64 up to 110 pound weight, The office supply stores have this paper. I'm not sure exactly what the weight stands for but the higher the weight the stiffer the paper. And the heavier the paper the better quality the note.  My daughter once received an invitation from her billionaire boss that was printed on wood.  I'm not kidding.  A littly slab of wood.

The cards will fit in envelope that is 4 3/8 X 5 3/4.  You can also do big cards by using just the one column and portrait orientation.  Then fold the whole sheet in half.  They have envelopes to fit this size, too and they are 5 3/4 X 8 3/4..  I especially like this size for Christmas cards. 

I'm sure this technique will help you.  No--no, no.  Don't try to thank me. 

But, if you do, send it to PO Box 142  Winnsboro, TX  75494   I will try not to judge. 

Update on the Labyrinth

I  maintained the labyrinth through the winter. And it turned out that the winter was better for the lab than summer.  It just baked in the summer drought and a lot of the grass died, turning it into a field of not much more than dirt and a few wispy lines of paint.  But we had enough rain lately to encourage the grass to start growing again.

For keeping the lines in good shape I have needed to put down new paint lines once in a while.  I bought a stick kind of thing that I can spray the paint while walking and this eliminated the bending over.  The bending over part was very demoralizing.  Get the stick thingy.  Or call me and I can send a picture.

 I found a paint that I like:  Rustoleum Marking paint.  I started out buying it at Lowes then found out they stock it at Walmart.  It's about $5 a can and to do the whole lab takes about four cans.  Fortunately, I'm just on "maintenance mode" right now and it only needs a can or two to keep the lines distinct.

One thing that is helping is that it looks like the paint kills the vegetation under it.  If I look close I can see nothing more than dirt under the white in a lot of places.

 I hope the new grass will provide a stark contrast to the dead zone line  We'll see.

Hot Enough to Fry an Egg

I don't have a sidewalk out here.  So I used a black cast iron skillet.

I checked the remote thermometer we have that sits outside and broadcasts the temperature to a receiver we have inside our house.  It said it was 108 degrees outdoors. That's in the shade, too, because we keep this thermometer in an old bird house.

But then I took the thermometer to the fishing pier, in the sunlight, and got a different reading.

Then I got my laser-beam thermometer and pointed at the black skillet I set on the fishing pier:

I am not making this up.  These are scientific instruments and you can't fool a scientific instruments.

So, the only thing missing in this experiment was a bunch of kids.  Fortunately, we have new neighbors and it's like I had custom-ordered them.  Rachel is three years old.

And she brought her brother and two sisters.  And then the goats followed them over. The geese and duck, who thinks he's a goose, started to follow but I guess they're not as attached to the kids as the goats are.  The goats always come over when the kids do.

I can't remember the goat's name but I know they all have names and I'm sure I'll come to remember these details.  She's enjoying some of the grass that has grown from the bottom of our pond.

So, back to the egg:

I had to come inside after about 15 minutes.  It's dangerously hot.  The kids anf goats had to go home.  There was some kind of complication about needing to finish cleaning house so they could go swimming (not the goats, though.) Apparently, my 125 degree back yard with the crazy old lady trying to cook an egg outdoors isn't as interesting as a swimming pool.

I went back out after about an hour.  The egg white looked definitely "cooked" but the yellow had broken and made a big mess.  I decided to bring the whole thing inside but the handle was too hot to touch without a hot pad.

Conclusion:  It is hot.

Labyrinths

I've been interested in labyrinths ever since I had the job to staff an array of three of them at the Synod Youth Workshop years and years ago.

A brief description of a labyrinth for those new to the idea is that it's a path.  Just a path.  You can't get lost.  The path leads you into the center then back out again.  What you do with the path is your own business.

Most people find themselves in prayer or meditation while they walk.  It has a way of freeing your mind to let it wander around a bit while the path tells you where to put your feet. You don't have to think about where you're going and it's a good way to let your mind rest.  If you are looking for a labyrinth it's likely you'll find it at a church, hospital or retreat center.  The most notable one is the beautiful one on the floor of the Chartres Cathedral in Chartes, France.

At Synod Youth Workshop we used canvas labyrinths.  The pattern was painted on the canvas.  You unfold it and lay it out, take your shoes off, and get to walking.  Then pack it back up for storage. Canvas labs are very portable and perfect for indoor events.  The only problem is they cost a fortune.  Just a kit to make your own starts at $2,000.   I set out to figure out how to make an affordable one.

My first one I made out of rope. This required about 500 feet of rope for one with an 18 inch path.  But you can make them even larger if you have enough room. I made one in my field and then took the show on the road to various retreats. This required a storage chest for all that rope. I also ran into trouble when I tried to mow over it and got about a hundred feet of rope caught in the axle and Beaven had to take the mower apart to fix it. That was a day I don't ever want to repeat.

A month or so back I started toying with painting labyrinths on grass and that seems to be a pretty good solution.  It solved the mowing problem and I didn't have to deal with all that rope.  The rain doesn't hurt it.  However, because it hasn't rained much around here lately the grass hasn't needed mowing. I don't really know how much mowing hurts the pattern--since mowing basically removes what you painted.  I'm counting on those low ground-hugging blades of grass to hold the design and all I will have to do post-mowing is touch it up. 

I worked on it for most of the day yesterday. And in case anyone wonders if summer has arrived yet I can say with authority that it has.  It was hot and sunny and miserable. Try to get some people to help you.  It's a lot more fun and easier that way.

Here's some instructions:

The first thing you want to do is figure out where you'll put it. You'll need a large area (an eleven circuit lab with 2 ft paths will need about 50 feet of space.) that has good grass.  I've become somewhat of a connoisseur of grass since I started using it as a canvas.  You want more grass than dirt.  The paint doesn't do well on dirt.  And you want either very thick turf or broad leafed grass like St Augustine.  But then if you have a huge area of St Augustine you are probably going to get into trouble if you paint on it. You will certainly need permission and might have trouble getting it. Anyone with a large area of St Augustine had spent a lot of money on it so you'd better be careful before you paint it.

I have been blessed by the benefit of a windy day when our neighbor had their pasture seeded.  So I have pretty decent field of coastal bermuda across the fence from his pasture.  It's also a kind of secluded area with trees on three sides and the Berger's pasture on the fourth.  While I was working today their horses came to the fence to investigate. A very serene spot.

May 30th update:
The grass has grown more and is thicker now.  I've mowed the original path a couple of times now and enough paint remains each time to help guide me when I "refresh" the pattern with more paint.  It takes about another five cans to do the whole lab once it's been painted the first time.  At 96 cents a can that's not a killer expense as much as hard on your back. It is very do-able. 

Go to Walmart and buy the cheapest spray paint you can find.  I usually pay 96 cents a can at my Walmart.  Get 10 cans of white and one can of either green or brown (for erasing mistakes.)  I was a little surprised that I was never asked any questions about what I was planning to do with ten cans of spray paint.

Then buy a couple of the trigger attachments for spray paint.  If Walmart doesn't have them check Lowes.  They're about $6 and worth every penny.  Don't even try this without one.  Then hunt up 3 tent stakes.  And a little over 100 ft of cotton rope.  Cut them into 28 ft lengths for a 2 ft path. Most labyrinths have an 18 inch path.  I like a wide path because I've noticed that I've started to stagger a bit when I walk and my balance isn't what it used to be.  Plus I have so much space that it's nice that I don't have to limit myself.

Take each one of the 4 ropes and tie a loose knot at one end. This is the end that will be staked in the ground at the knot.  Take the green or brown paint and, starting at the knot,  mark hash marks on the rope every 24 inches. You should end up with 13 marks.

Find the center of where you'll put your lab.  Lay the four ropes at positions I call North, South, East and West.  No matter what the real direction I use South as the entrance.  Maybe these directions meant something to the Druids but I'm not a Druid and neither are you.  Please don't obsess over where the real north is.  Just make your entrance the south end of the picture.

Take the following diagram and blow it up as big as you can on a regular size paper.

Put down a tent stake at the center of the labyrinth.  attach the 4 ropes to the center and bring them out to mark the 4 directions.   Make the first circle using the second hash mark giving the circle a 4 ft radius. Then make a circle with each hash mark.  The North, East and West quadrants should be marked this way:  Pay attention to the lines that will continue through the axis and which ones will stop short for turnarounds.  It's a lot easier to leave bare grass than it is to erase the paint.

While you are painting the lines you'll need a way to keep track of them.  I took a stick of 1X3 wood and cut it into squares.  Then numbered each one up to 12.  By putting these on the grass I can easily identify which line is which.  The wood is heavy enough that it won't blow away and the numbers big enough I can read them from a distance.

Start with the North, East and West sections and paint the turnarounds according to the diagram:

The hardest quadrant to mark is the south end.  This one is the hardest because the lines just go willy-nilly.  Keep one rope at the center stake.  Then plant a tent stake one path's width to the left and one to the right.  Attach two of the ropes and bring them toward the south to form lanes.

Using the ropes paint the turns on the south quadrant.  Here's a diagram of the line numbers on the south.

I have a lot of trouble with keeping track of these lines.  And I have a huge problem replicating shapes.  Seriously.  I got tested once. And the tests showed that while  I am a genius at some things my "design memory" is just pitiful. Neither Beaven nor I have any skills whatsoever at Geometry or reproducing shapes.

I have struggled enough in the past that I've finally learned what to do when  when I get to this stage:   I enlist someone to help me then I sit down and shut up.  I give them an enlarged diagram of what the thing is supposed to look like, a big glass of iced tea and my undying respect.

I had one happy discovery as the weeks went on.  Mowing doesn't totally remove the pattern.  You still need to touch it up.  Here's a shot of my granddaughter spraying a fresh coat of paint.  Everytime you add paint the pattern looks better.

Two weeks later:  I found out the thicker the grass the better the pattern shows.  Here's a shot of Essie standing in the center:

And here is a shot of the burro in the neighbor's field.  She let Essie pet her more than anyone.  It's fun to have them for company when I walk.

This is just a start.  I'll try to update you with what works and what doesn't. How much difference mowing and growing makes. I'm still learning how to do this.

 If you want to get further into labyrinths the best book I've found on how to build them is Exploring the Labyrinth by Melissa Gayle West.

If you want a good labyrinth and don't want to drive out to my house I understand there's a dandy one in Dallas at the Church of the Transfiguration and one at Baylor Hospital.